found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
god bless gordan ramsey
Dude is only a dick to adults, awesome.
because, those adults should know what they’re doing, they’re cooks these are kids hes teaching to cook, therefore he is patient.
WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE BEEN ON 8 HOUR GIGS AND PRACTICING TO START ALEXIS MASTERSON FASHION SHOWS AND I DIDNT GO ON A DATE WITH YOU FOR ONE FUCKING DAY BECAUSE I WENT ON 5 GIGS IN LAS VEGAS AND LA AND PUNTA FUCKING MITA AND SOHO AND YOU PULL ME WITH THIS SHIT? I WAS OVER HALFWAY THROUGH TO BEING YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND IF YOU FUCKING THINK I AM SPENDING HALF OF MY CHARMS TO PLEASE YOUR B-LISTING ASSHOLE THEN YOU SHOULD GO TO THOSE UGLY ASS CAMO PANTS YOU WEAR ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT SHOULD BE STUCK UP YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ANUS AND STICK THEM RIGHT IN THE HEART OF YOUR FAILING CAREER I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST THING YOU EVER HAD, FUCK YOU GABRIEL MY OUTFITS ARE FUCKING HOT YOU JUST ACT YOU’RE TIMMY FUCKING TURNER AND WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT EVERY DATE THEN ASK WHY I’M NOT EVEN TRYING IN MY 2000$ OUTFIT ALL MY MANAGERS FUCKING ADORE YOU NEVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD EITHER WAY, CUNT
"I dont think i’ll ever take a better photo than this in my entire life. I have the love of my life swimming under and wave and one of my best friends on a wave"
if you need a laugh just pause this at any point [via]
every moment of this vine is true perfection
FRANK, MAN, YOU’RE ALIVE
I SAW THIS HANDBAG MAN
IT LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.
OH FRANK I’M SO RELIEVED.
IT’S OKAY GERARD
SHUT UP GERARD
YOURE EMBARRASSING ME GOD DAMNIT
this is literally the greatest subtitling job that has ever been done. someone learned how to speak cat.
remember that first live action scooby doo movie. where the antagonist was literally scrappy doo and he was stealing peoples souls, like actually really stealing and absorbing souls, and was planning on taking scoobys soul to rule the world with an army of demons and get revenge on the gang after they abandoned him because he kept peeing in the car, and near the end he turned into this huge dog monster
a real movie